Out of my comfort zone

3 May

Day 3: Things that make you uncomfortable

So when I first read this topic my mind immediately went to things like sharks, ocean water, bugs, wasps, anything that buzzes really, spiders, dark basements, scary movies..then I stopped myself because those are more of the many fears that I have rather than things that make me uncomfortable. So I thought a little harder because honestly it isn’t a topic I think of all too often until I am in a situation where I am sweating, feeling awkward, and just want to crawl into a small ball to never be seen again. GAHHHHH so uncomfortableeeeee…

The first thing that comes to mind is that awful moment when you are with a large crowd of people and the check comes to the table. Talk about uncomfortable. How do we split it? Who got what? Will we just split it evenly? Cash? Credit Card? Who will chip in for tip? 20% okay with everyone? People shooting each other glances. That person in the group who only has 20 dollar bills to work with and needs change. The worst is when you don’t know everyone so well at the table and so there is a dead silence moment where no one knows what to do with this whopping check. I take that back, the worst is when the whopping check gets put in front of your plate and you are the one having to ask all these uncomfortable questions.  I try to avoid this scenario at all costs and if it ends up happening I normally give the husband a glance of “you deal with the check…” look.

ES8zen on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

my usual response at the end of a big gathering

Something else that makes me uncomfortable is realizing I didn’t put deodorant on in the morning and there is none in sight (I just really carry a travel size in my purse).  The whole day I just feel so paranoid that I smell, have pit stains, or will need to raise my hand for something (less of this now that I am not in school). Another one is  when people share really personal information to me when either 1. I just met them 2. We are in a public area and we can’t discuss or 3. its something that legit could end up happening to me one day (oh you are going to the beach for vacation? My younger sister died drowning in the ocean so be careful. ). Makes me soooo uncomfortable.  More uncomfortable moments for me include when I don’t see the sign on the store that says tips only in cash and I go to pay with a credit card and have no cash on hand, or when I don’t know the person who is texting me yet they know me, or  when you just know someone is going to feel left out, but there is no way around the situation or when I am having a great conversation with someone and then another person enters the circle and the conversation goes flat (and you never hear the end of that awesome story!!).  It always happens that there is nothing good to say to that person who just entered the conversation (but I have totally been that girl who has entered that circle too!).  Let’s see I know there are others…when someone is telling a story about you and you have no idea the direction this story is going. Please have a good ending. Please have a good ending. Please don’t make me look like an idiot. Please don’t make me look like an idiot. (those are the words that are usually running through my mind during the story!).

Another big uncomfortable moment for me is when someone calls me out on something with others around.  I am the first to admit I probably do this to others and so how can I ask others to do something I am not doing myself, but whether the person is right or wrong for calling me out my face turns beet red.  Like ripe tomato red.  Then what usually happens is someone comments on how red I am, which in turn makes me even more uncomfortable (and more red).  Normally I have to count to 10 in my head to make myself stop from crying at this point.  Others have moved on, but I am now dwelling on what just went down in the conversation. Now I don’t cry because I am upset with the person calling me out (I probably deserved it!)–but sometimes when I am uncomfortable and I dwell on the discomfort of the situation my reaction is to cry.  A total weakness, but over the years I have grown a thicker skin.   Not to get too personal on this topic, but I had this done to me at work in a training once.  Hands down the worst work experience I have ever had.  It was a group exercise and while some people in the group thought it was liberating and helpful in building the team I found myself crying in front of all my co-workers and supervisors.  Its has been years since that experience, but every time I hear the word team-building exercise I start to sweat. So yea, uncomfortable.

Overall though I think getting taken out of my comfort zone is a great thing. I know all my examples above don’t really reflect that because honestly if I never had to feel uncomfortable again from those experiences I wouldn’t mind one bit!  But humor aside there are so many positive that come from getting out of my comfort zone that I didn’t talk about in my examples like taking risks, learning more about myself and what I am capable of, becoming more well-rounded, and experience new opportunities.  For the most part I learn so much from the uncomfortable experience and it really helps me grow from these experiences. For instance,  I am usually the planner of the group and so when I have to just go with the flow and feel uncomfortable “not knowing or planning” it usually turns out to be a great thing for me!  It helps me be okay with not having control over every second of my life and allows me to relax and live a bit in the moment, which I wouldn’t have had without feeling a certain level of discomfort.  So bring it discomfort (in small doses though please).

 

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