Writers Block.

20 Aug

Here I sit once again to try and write a post. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down over the course of these 2 months and ultimately end up deleting the post as it just felt “meh”. I can’t say this time will be any different, as I still feel I am in a writing funk—but this space felt so empty that I couldn’t avoid it any longer. Anyone else ever have a writing funk?

At some point I have to just start typing and realize it will not be perfect, but at least it is a start. These last 2 months have been hard. Really hard. Wishing away our summer hard. A big part of me feels sad about this as I had so many wishes for this summer with Lexi. Plus summer is my favorite time of year and it was wasted on wishing it was over? What a bummer! Of course there were shining moments during the summer, but overall it was one big hot mess. This could easily turn into a whine fest over here and I will not bore you all with the details, but our life became a grueling job over the summer. First it was synchronizing a move and a move-in at the beginning of the summer, which was like having two full time jobs. Then it was unpacking and trying to make sense of items that had been in boxes for over a year since our last place was so small. Then it was living through a kitchen renovation. Another full-time job on top of the ones we already had. Then my husband over the summer spent 20 hours a week in a car commuting. 20 less hours each week that he got to spend with us this summer. If I had to rank the grueling jobs this summer this would have to be my number one even though I wasn’t even the one doing the driving. Then there were a couple shining moments of BBQs, walks, farm visit, and soaking up the summer. Quickly followed by a week away from family, daughter spending a week away from both mom and dad because of logistical nightmares, and to-do lists piled high. We then had some more shining moments of swimming, family get togethers, laughter, weekends spent together and getting to know our new city we were slowly calling home. Total bliss for a few fleeting summer seconds. Which brings us to August and tons of highs and lows and more wishing to get through this summer. More logistics to maneuver, adult decisions to be made and handled, a little one with a summer cold, and weekends full of work commitments. I have so many to-do lists running through my head for home/personal projects that my mind may explode. Although those will have to wait a few more weeks because it is that time of year again when my job becomes my life. The students return back to college. It happens every year yet every year I am surprised on how fast the pace picks back up when students arrive on campus.

So where does this leave me? Hopeful. Excited. Ready for a new season. Fall will be better and easier on us as a family. For this I am truly grateful. I know that so many people and families have it harder than even our worst day this summer–but for us it was a very long 2 months. Our life will not feel like grueling work and we will be able to bask in the new Fall season. I feel so blessed for our future is bright. I am thankful for all the work we put in during this hard yet I know it will be worth it in the end summer. We will be adjusted to our new city and new routine. We will be settled into our new place and finally get to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We will have time for date nights, playdates, and family activities. We will have more family time in the Fall. Our work – life – balance will be restored once again. I may even get crazy and find time to get a hair cut! The hubs will be starting a new job come this Fall and instead of 20 hours in a car each week, it will be all the way down to 3 1/2 hours each week. Mind = blown. BRING ON FALL!! (let me just be clear that I am in no way saying bring on Winter. That season can stay far away from us for a very long time).

So there you have it. Me breaking through my writing funk and feeling good enough to hit “Publish” for the first time in months. It feels good. The only thing that would make this moment even better is if I could post pictures of the last 2 months to show that we had some great moments even during the hard times. Unfortunately I have not been able to upload my photos to my computer because my Iphoto storage is at full capacity and I am really scared to hit “delete” on my old pictures on the computer even though I have backed them up on an external hard drive. Call me old fashion, but I like to visually see my pictures on my computer! I need to bite the bullet and do this because it is silly to have photos just sitting on my camera. Next post, I promise.

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One Response to “Writers Block.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Letter to my readers | Sweet Sweet Nothings - September 19, 2013

    […] a month later I wrote a post thinking the reason I came to this blog less and less was because of writer’s block.  Maybe part of it was writer’s block, but I think a ton of it had to do with this feeling […]

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